Polluter

Kayla: "Mom, is polluter a real word?"

Mom: "Yes."

Tycen: "Will you use it in a sentence?"

Lisa: "That car is such a polluter, it puts a lot of pollution in the air."

Lance: "When that car polluters, it goes up into the trees."

Trees In China

Me (while driving): "Hey kids, look back at that awesome sunset...  Oh, you can't see it very well now because it's behind those trees."

Paul: "Aww, I can't see it because of those trees.  I wish there weren't any trees in the whole world... except in China."

Euphemism

Kayla: "Paul, what's a euphemism?"
Paul: "A pink animal that lives in the woods!"

That Will Keep You Out Of Heaven

Paul: "Don't rip your bum off and throw it at people.  That will keep you out of heaven."

Lance's Spelling Test

Lance's teacher wrote the correct spelling next to what Lance spelled wrong.  Here are his first two words:

Lance: "ass"
Teacher: "us"
Lance: "butt"
Teacher: "but"

Those Are Your Options

Lisa:  "Paul, you can make your bed or unload the silverware.  Those are your options."

Paul: "I don't like those options.  You can give me two new options.  Those are your options."

Santa's Reindeer

Lance was singing Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer this morning and here is how it started:

"There's Dixon and Dancer and Dasher and Nixon.

Comet and Quper and... Blitzen"

Paul was singing a little with him and called one of them "Bomet" and then paused and said, "Like puke!"

Don't Be The Teddy Bear

Paul and Lisa were driving to Enumclaw and we're going to stay there for the night.

Lisa: "We could share a bed."

Paul:  "Mom, can you be my stuffed animal?"

Lisa:  "Yes."

Paul:  "I like to hang my bear over the edge and then drop him down the stairs... does grandma have stairs?"

I Just Love Him

Paul: "Tycen's band is my favorite!"
Lisa: "Who is your favorite player in that band?"
Paul: "Tycen.  I just love him!"

I Can Be Whatever I Want

Paul: "Mom told me I can be whatever I want to be."

Dad: "That's right Paul."

Paul: "I'm an artist, a ninja, and a spy!"